Why Should I Respect Me? 3 Steps To Start

3 Steps to Start

Do any of the following negative self-talk statements ring familiar?

“Why should I trust myself when all I do is fail?”
“I am an out of control addict and need to be fixed.”
“If I let that wild overeating part of me go I would never stop eating.”

Have your New Year’s Resolutions to start a new diet, detox or cleanse started to unravel?  If they have, you are not alone. Research shows that by January 19th, most people’s healthy New Year’s Resolutions have hit the dust and all that remains are the protein powders, the pre-prepared foods or the dust collecting exercise contraption that was purchased in the hope of the early days of the New Year.
I remember when I struggled with my weight 40 pounds up and down the scale, I had what I called my “CUPBOARD OF SHAME”. It was a place that I put all the of unfinished diet and health regime products that I had bought in the hope of finally finding the miracle cure for my weight “problem”.
Every time I opened the cupboard to put in the latest diet failure remnant, I felt a great sense of distrust about myself—the cupboard seemed to laugh mockingly at me, “see no matter how hard you try, you will never be thin, hahahaha!”

I had no trust that I could lose the weight myself. I spent a lot of money and time looking around for a miracle cure outside myself. When I found that “NEW WEIGHT MIRACLE THING” I gave it all of my power and let it try and work its magic on me.

But when the magic never happened or the magic went away and I went back to my old ways, I took my failure to mean that I couldn’t be trusted–I was a failure and there just must be something inherently wrong with me.

Sound familiar? Have your past weight loss efforts left you feeling bitter, busted and broken about the whole weight thing?  Has it left you with a distrustful relationship with yourself, food and exercise AND your body?

I am not surprised.  When we struggle with our weight, it leads us to have feelings of failure that lead to low-self and a deep distrust of ourselves in the weight management area of our lives.

What a pity.  You do not deserve to have such a broken down relationship with the most important person in your life— yourself!


It really isn’t your fault.  You see, our diet focused, quick fix, culture has made weight loss and management seem like you wake up one day and are either perfect at or you’re not.  It has messed with our deep expectations of what it takes to create long term success.

Long term success is about changing from the inside out. Learning to work powerfully with yourself and gradually building trust, skills and confidence over time.  It definitely isn’t about waking up one Monday morning and being good on a diet for the rest of your life.

How many people do you know who in November said, “Wow, I am still really going strong with that resolution I made January 1st!” My guess is few to none, right?


So, what would it be like to begin trusting yourself this year, right now?  What would it be like to SHIFT your thinking and actually use your mind powerfully to build long term ways of taking care of yourself and your body and allow you not only to release weight but to create a powerful new relationship with yourself in this area of your life?

I would like to offer you 3 new ways of breaking through old distrustful ways of thinking and SHIFT them into new ways of thinking that can move your forward on your journey to a slimmer more empowered year.


1) STOP STARTING OVER TOMORROW OR MONDAY:  Most people don’t realize that they have built a habit of “starting over” when they go off their healthy eating plan. “I ate pasta, I blew it, I will start again Monday”.

Every time we “start over” we are adding to our internal distrust bank account and building the habit of “starting over”.  Instead, when that old impulse arises, get present, and commit to moving forward with your healthy eating plan the very next meal or snack. By committing to keeping on moving forward, no matter what, you are breaking yourself our of the cognitive error habit of “all or nothing“ thinking and staying present to reality.
Once your mind has a new opportunity to learn why you made the choice you did, learn from it, and move on. When we learn we build confidence and also, you guessed it, TRUST.


Our negative self talk is so sneaky we don’t even see it as negative, or self-talk. We see it as THE TRUTH!!

We have 80,000 thoughts that flow through our mind per day and a lot of them revolve around the “fact” that we are the problem–that somehow we are flawed and that we need to be fixed–therefore, we need to look outside of ourselves for the solution to our weight struggle.

Never for a million years do we think that we might hold the solution. No, we are the freak and we need to fix ourselves as fast as possible so that we can get back to “normal” and accept ourselves and others can accept us too.

Wow! Who wouldn’t want to go bury themselves in chocolate rather than listen to a 24-7 Debbie Downer recording of how incompetent and horrible we are?

Let’s hack into the file and delete the distrustful spew and replace it with some more powerful programming.

a. When you hear that negative self take, take a breath:that brings your mind into the present rather then the negative thought pattern habit.

b. Label the negative thought as a negative thought:  What this does is start to break up the energy that the negative thought holds over you. “Oh there is that NEGATIVE THOUGHT that I am a failure because I ate those potato chips instead of a salad.

c. SHIFT the Negative thought into a learning thought and move on now seeing yourself as a learner of new skills rather than a failure.

Example:“ I am not a failure, I am committed to weight release and maybe that wasn’t the best choice but I can learn from what happened.

d. Think through a new solution (if the situation calls for it).  “Next time BEFORE I come into the restaurant, I need to remind myself to order the salad on the side, otherwise once I am in the restaurant sitting with my friends and chatting, I might forget and then be tempted when the potato chips arrive on my plate.”

  3) MAKE DO-ABLE PROMISES AND KEEP THEM:  One way we shoot ourselves and our self-trust in the foot is by making huge commitments that are un-realistic.

EXAMPLE: I will work out for an hour and a half a day (said by someone who hasn’t exercised in 5 years)
EXAMPLE: I will never eat sugar again as long as I live!!

Start by making much more realistic goals that you know without a doubt you can keep. This way you will begin building trust with yourself that you are someone who keeps their word
EXAMPLE: I will walk at least 20 minutes after dinner 4 days this week.
EXAMPLE: I will cut my refined sugar intake during the week, substituting fruit instead. On weekends I will allow myself one treat per day.

By using these powerful thinking techniques you will not only be moving yourself forward towards weight release but investing in a much higher quality and more trusting relationship with yourself.  Enjoy your new  self R-E-S-P-E-C-T and enjoy moving forward into the new year!

ox Rita


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