Am I Going To Eat Over This?

Eat over this - blog header

AM I GOING TO EAT OVER THIS?
Guidelines to Avert an Emotional Eating Episode
I was so pissed off!  How dare they? My two best friends couldn’t make my birthday party. Why weren’t they coming? Didn’t they love me? Wasn’t I cool enough?
I was angry and I was eating, chomping away as I processed my hurt. I came to as I reached the bottom of the icing bowl. Without realizing it, I had just demolished all of the chocolate frosting just hours before my birthday party.Now on top of angry, I felt sick and sad. My friends hadn’t ruined my birthday, I had, with my response to finding out they couldn’t come.

WHY DO WE EAT WHEN WE ARE EMOTIONAL?

Have you ever been in a situation when something in life happened and you just ate over it because that just seemed like the thing to do at the time? The only response that your brain would allow you do?

Emotion, Stress, and The Brain
Our mind and body evolved to move from 0-100 milliseconds to get us out of danger as fast as possible. This fight-or-flight response enhanced survival back in the day. When fear or danger happens today, that same amazing survival mechanism occurs. The hormone cortisol floods the system, and the reptilian brain literally shuts down the conscious, rational-thinking brain. It says “Hey, there’s no time to think –JUST MOVE THOSE FEET!” Almost instantly, every bit of energy goes to preparing us to flee as fast as possible.

The problem is that the reptilian brain does not know how to differentiate between a lion and bumper-to-bumper traffic, the yelling boss, or friends not coming to your birthday party. The mind interprets any change in “normal” as a threat, triggering release of cortisol to prep the body for a lightning-fast get-away.

Stress also shifts the brain into a reward-seeking state, because it associates the reward state to “feeling better.” Eating may be a calming reward, but eventually it also makes us feel bad about ourselves. I know because I did it for years myself and it never helped and only made things worse. When I finally overcame the habits and behaviors that allowed me to release 40 pounds and keep it off for twenty years, learning to avoid emotional eating was one of the key changes that helped me create lasting change.

In my work with clients, I help them understand that when they feel angry, sad, anxious or even really happy, they cannot use willpower to avoid the desire to eat for comfort because during emotional surges, the impulse control part of the mind is not available to us—it is literally shut down!

3-STEP SELF-COACHING TO SIDE TRACK AN EMOTIONAL EATING EPISODE

A strategy I teach my clients to avoid comfort-eating teaches them to stop the automatic response and calm themselves down, sort of as you would a small child coming to you in distress.  You can develop the ability to be your own Inner Coach calming your Inner small child who needs comforting.

Here is the 3 step process to calm yourself and move through any emotional episode while staying connected to you what you really want.

1. Notice your feelings and acknowledge them, “I am hurt! Those Bit%3s aren’t coming to my party.”

2. Allow the feeling and say—“it’s okay to feel the feeling that I am mad at my friends”. So often, we try to push away uncomfortable feelings—if you allow them in and label the feelings, you begin to have power over them versus them having power over you.3. Ask yourself the question “Am I going to eat over this? Because if I am, I had better come up with another solution.” This allows your stressed and emotional brain a big pause, a real self care moment and a chance to shift gears from the thought of eating to the thought of truly taking care of ourselves. If we eat to numb, we not only add unneeded calories to our bodies but we lose the chance to find something that will truly take care of us. Using food as a ban-aid doesn’t take care of us it leaves us feeling worse than before.

If the answer is yesthen try one of these 3 more slimming alternatives:
a. Forgive Whomever Wronged You (even if it was you who wronged you.) Resentment is like eating poison and expecting the other person to die. My two friends were off living their lives oblivious to the fact that I shoveled 2000 calories worth of icing down my throat. To forgive is divine and it’s damn slimming too. Do what I call an “Insta-Forgive”. Don’t forgive them for them, forgive them for you—just let it go. If you need to take an action later, like speak with the person, you can do that too, but ‘insta-forgive’ them upfront so they don’t cause you both anger and an additional pound of wiggle in the back.
b. Rest In Peace Often when we are feeling extreme emotions that would cause us to eat, we are tired and our brain is overwhelmed. Sometimes, just a quick 10 minute lie down is just what you need to pull yourself out of fight or flight eating mode and into thinking more rationally about how to really deal with an issue. if you can get some zzzzs all the better. Research shows we need many respites through the day but our fast-paced culture breeds it out of us. Try to give yourself the love of a good nap. Scarlett O’Hara said “I’ll think about it tomorrow.” We say, “I’ll think about it after my nap.”
c. Get Some Coaching From a Friend Calling someone or reaching out to process your feelings is a great way to connect with people. People love to help—so take advantage. Let someone contribute to you! Chances are your friend has been through what you are experiencing or can just hear you out and let you process what happened. Sometimes, it helps to ask specifically for what you need, like—“I need your opinion, what would you do?” or “I don’t need your opinion, but I would love for you to hear me and let me process. Is that okay?”

This tool has been one of the best ways I’ve used to grow my ability to break out of emotional eating situations. It has also helped many clients gain confidence in their ability to handle their emotions without eating over them.

I hope you will try this powerful tool out soon, although I hope it isn’t because your friends don’t show up to your birthday!

oxoxRita

I am excited to announce that I am publishing the book version of my successful hypnosis based weight mastery program (The Shift Weight Mastery Process).  The book is called From Fat to Thin Thinking: Unlock your Mind for Permanent Weight Loss and will be out in a few months.  I am currently creating a group of people who will be a part of the book’s launch.

If you enroll you will receive:
-Special bonuses created only for book launch participants
-Sneak peaks from the book
-Savings– launch day discounts and more!

Please sign up here to be a part of our exciting launch.

Who Are You Voting For: Fat or Thin Thinking?

seize-the-day

Hi everyone!

 In honor of next Tuesday’s election, I wanted to discuss the two very different  platforms that we have running against each other — inside of us!!  We must decide which of these inner platforms will run our relationship with our health, weight, and ultimately, ourselves.  And, yes, just like we are seeing in this year’s election, this can be highly contentious. Which candidate and which platform are you voting for?  Which candidate are you listening to? Who is going to be your leader?  The choice you make will lead you on two very different paths.
Platform 1:  Fat Thinking
Here at the Fat Thinking campaign headquarters we have the 2 candidates:
The Inner Critic and the Inner Rebel

These 2 candidates join forces and work together seamlessly to

-Create a chaotic mindset that takes your power away from you

-Keep you struggling in that ‘good or bad’, ‘on or off’, ‘all or nothing’ kind of thinking.

The Inner Critic believes inherently that you are broken and need to be fixed and also that you need to be restricted and must only eat what is on the diet or else you are a failure.

The Inner Rebel will look for reasons to blow your plan.  They push hard for you starting again on Monday because “what the hay…you already blew it—so you may as well eat them all…”

The weight loss goals of the Fat Thinking platform are dodgy to say the least.  There doesn’t seem to be any clear documentation of how the Fat Thinking Party will make decisions in your favor with regards to healthy food choices, getting exercise or ever reaching weight mastery.

But, they have a lot of familiar sounding beliefs and slogans and often we get hoodwinked into voting for Fat Thinking.  And then, instead of the change they promised, we end up feeling frustrated, demoralized and bloated.

So this time around why not vote for something new??

How about casting your vote for Thin Thinking and the Inner Coach?

Platform 2: Thin Thinking

Here at Thin Thinking headquarters, things are looking powerful.

-There is only one candidate: The Inner Coach and one clear message—Show Up for Yourself!

That’s right:

-Your Inner Coach knows that you can achieve weight mastery.

-Your Inner Coach has a very specific action plan to create a healthy lifestyle that will take you to the vision you have for your health.

– Your Inner Coach is ready to solve the problems and create new solutions and doesn’t  believe in magic pills or diets.   Your Inner Coach believes in you!  They believe that you can achieve your ideal weight and stay there because you have made the Shift from the inside out.

How to Change Platforms

If you are stuck in the Fat Thinking Camp, never fear—you can always change parties.

The good news is that we all have a strong and willing Inner Coach inside of us, ready to take the lead!

Get Started:

1) Start to tune in and get conscious to the rhetoric of the Fat Thinking Party.

Start by tuning in to the way you speak to yourself. When you really tune in, you can begin to hear how false the Critic and the Rebel sound: impulsive, negative, emotional.

  • You can separate yourself out from the BS and begin to Shift. Take a breath and separate yourself out from the negative self speak and see it as separate from you.  In fact, imagine the negative inner voice sounding like the candidate that you are voting against–that will start to poke holes in the power that the negative voice has over you.

2)  You can begin to get very clear on what it is you do want versus what you don’t want.  The more you focus on a clear and definable outcome, the more your Inner Coach can begin to take clear and actionable steps and the less the Inner Critic will pull you to the dark side.

  • Don’t try “not” to do something like “not eat chocolate in the afternoon”.  The mind doesn’t hear the negative, focuses on the action, and leaves us feeling tempted and deprived so that we often fall back into the old pattern.
  • Instead, set a doable goal that you know is achievable and focused on the outcome that you want. “I will have a pear and some almonds as my afternoon snack”.  Imagine how good you will feel when you accomplish that goal–this gets your mind excited to achieve that goal.
3)  You can begin getting your facts and budget straight with precise data and logical thinking.
Track your food to see what you really are eating, what you crave, where are the trouble spots in your environment (that car ride home from work? the office parties?) and what habits are not serving your healthy wishes.
  • Once you have real facts, and can view it simply as information. Instead of using it to judge yourself for not being perfect, you can begin to solve the problems and seek new workable strategies.

4)  Practice showing up for yourself every day in these small ways, making the one healthy decision at a time and you will quickly begin feeling more powerful and confident.

VOTE FOR THIN THINKING

VOTE FOR YOUR INNER COACH

Be sure to check out the newly relaunched Shift Weight Mastery website.  We’ve added Free Hypnosis sessions including a 5 Day Night Eating Program that will tackle the mindless grazing so many of us do in the evenings.  www.shiftweightmastery.com

Good luck at the Inner Voting Booth—I know you will make the Shifted choice!

Oxox Rita

You Call That Hard?

woman running

You Call That Hard? An easy technique to keep you consistent with your weight release

Happy Labor Day! In keeping with the spirit of the upcoming holiday, I want to explore the idea of labor and how the idea of what it takes to release weight is seen as “hard work” by so many people who struggle with their weight.

As a hypnotherapist working with people in that struggle, one of the main ways that I see people make things difficult for themselves with the day in and out of weight release is that they market weight loss to themselves as “hard”. When we focus on the less glamorous aspects of weight loss most of the time, “it’s hard” becomes a hardwired association in our
brain.
“Exercise is hard. I don’t like to sweat.”
“Eating less is hard. I am afraid I will get hungry and feel stressed.”
“Dieting is tough when I am out with my family and friends.”
Is it any wonder why you might find it hard to stay on track when you see the act of weight release in such an unfriendly, laborious, and unglamorous light?
What if we looked at weight release from a different perspective…through a more powerful lens? Using a mind technique called “reframing”, we can choose to market weight release to ourselves in a more inviting, exciting and less laborious light and see that staying with the fattening and seductive habits that keep us struggling is really the hard work.
Hard is…

…struggling with yourself about your weight
…being tired because of your weight
…having aches and pain because of your weight
…having low or no confidence because of your weight
…beating yourself up because of your weight
…huffing and puffing after a few stairs or a light work out
…thinking about how your flabby bits feel about 100+ times a day
…wondering if your kids are ashamed of you
…sitting in doctor’s offices for weight related issues
…taking medications for weight related issues
…hating your body
…not knowing why you aren’t losing weight
…feeling out of control with food
…feeling stressed because you have to get dressed and have nothing to wear
…trying to put a smiley face when you feel awful about yourself and the world
…running out to buy some sugary, salty, fatty, carbs in the night when you swore you wouldn’t do that again
…worrying about how others will perceive you
…wondering if you are “fat” or not
…being afraid to weigh yourself but then always wondering what you weigh
…being mad at yourself because you went to bed after a binge swearing today you were going to be “good”.
…thinking you are insane because you know how to lose weight but you don’t seem to be able to do it as much as you say you want to
…fearful that it is always going to be this way

Now that’s hard!

REFRAME TO JOY

When you Shift out of the “it’s hard” limiting belief and see in a new way all the benefits that come from creating your own powerful healthy lifestyle, you begin to see that all the things that may have seemed “hard”—like exercise, nourishing yourself with healthy foods, tracking your food and being consistent day after day–are a joy.

JOY is…
…showing up for yourself every day
…feeling good about yourself because you are connected to your wise inner coach and not the harsh critic or the chaotic rebel
…feeling light by making yourself and your health a priority
…filling your body with foods that serve you both nutritionally and taste wise too
…building confidence daily by repeating the best practices of weight release
…the feeling you get from truly being in your body during exercise
…easily bounding up the stairs
…feeling the flabby bits shrinking
…knowing your kids are proud of you for making positive changes in yourself
…only seeing your doctor for your annual check up and having them be amazed at your great blood work and lab results
…throwing away medications for weight related issues because you no longer need them
…creating a loving relationship with body parts you once hated
…being able to predict your weight release because you are accurately tracking your food and exercise
…feeling in control of your food intake
…feeling happy because you have to get dressed and can reach in your closet and pick out anything and you know it will fit—year after year after year
…wearing a smiley face because this is how you feel inside as well
…feeling your feelings instead of eating over them
…having no concerns about how others will perceive you
…feeling good and powerful in your body
…having a powerful relationship with the scale because you know what to expect because you have been tracking your food and exercise
…happy because you know if can always be this way as long as you stay Shifted out of disempowered Fat thinking and in powerful Thin thinking.

Do you see how changing the focus changes your entire outlook and the way you see the act of managing your weight and taking care of you from drudgery to divine?

Here is a quick three step process to start breaking the habit of seeing weight loss as hard work and to begin re-framing it as a powerful act of self-care

3 STEPS TO REFRAME WEIGHT MANAGEMENT FROM IT’S HARD TO IT’S POWERFUL

1. Intercept the “HARD” with a breath: Taking a deep breath interrupts the negative though pattern and grounds you in the moment.

2. Label the Thought: Take a moment to tune in to how you are speaking to yourself about weight and label it as such. This separates the thought from something that is real to just a thought that is a bad idea.

“There’s that negative thought that getting up to exercise is hard and I don’t like to sweat.”

3. Reframe to a thought that gets you excited to make a positive action—focused on how good you will feel: Why advertise the sweat when you can advertise the glory instead? Focus your mind on the positive outcome of your actions and how great it feels when you show up for yourself.

I am focusing on how great I am going to feel after my walk, and even the sweat will feel good when I am proud of myself for taking care of myself.”

Using this easy mind flip trick consistently when negative or critical thoughts emerge can help you break the negative feeling you have associated with keeping yourself motivated with your weight release.

LABOR DAY REFRAME TIP
Remember the choice between “hard” and “joy” is just one Shift away. This Labor Day, when faced with a seductive fattening food that might tempt you into overeating, here is a great REFRAMING QUESTION to ask yourself…

 What do I want to feel?
-Good in the moment while I eat the indulgent treat
-Good about myself later for abstaining from the treat

Have a Shifted Labor Day!!

OX Rita

Go On! Take It Off!

GO ON! TAKE IT OFF!

That’s right…you can give yourself permission to hit the pool or beach with pride in your body —no matter what you weigh right now. It’s all a matter of who you give your power to and a shift in your own perspective.

I was at the YMCA the other day in a high intensity interval training class (H.I.I.T) and the teacher said, “Okay ladies let’s works on our abs—summer’s bathing suit season is just around the corner!

THE DREAD TO SHED WINTER CLOTHES

There were a lot of groans following what he said. Loader groans than usual because most of us groan a lot in this class. He had hit a vulnerable cord with most of the women of this class made up of all different ages and sizes.

In my hypnotherapy practice I also hear a lot of groans around this subject at this time of year. Often clients are ashamed of the way their body looks in the clothes of summer. They feel more comfortable hiding under layers of clothes. They want to wait until they are at their ideal weight and fitness level to give themselves permission to wear shorts or a bathing suit.

The irony is that in our culture, the idea of what “looks good” is so wired into our minds as an unachievable ideal. Even when we successfully release weight, we still don’t feel good enough about our bodies to give ourselves permission to “take it off” because we are afraid of the way others will perceive them. Often someone will reach their ideal weight only to think it is not enough because they do not look “good yet”.

TAKE OFF THE FAT THINKING

I invite you to see that you can have a fabulous summer, running around in whatever clothes you choose, but what you are going to “take off” isn’t the fat as much as it is the Fat Thinking that keeps you imprisoned in this idea of who you have to be in order to be loved and socially acceptable.

I invite you to begin Thin Thinking about your body—loving your body for where it is today and not worrying so much what others will think.  The more self acceptance that you create within yourself the more confident you become. Then you can begin to love yourself ALL THE WAY DOWN THE SCALE—(not just when you get to that magic number at the bottom—wherever and whenever that may be).

Give yourself permission to “take it off”(the Fat Thinking and ideas of perfection) before you “take it off” and those other people’s thoughts about you and your shape—be can go jump in the pool!

My struggle with my body and body image went on for decades.  It is amazing to me that I can have fun in a bathing suit, when just the thought of putting one on would fill me with horror years ago before my own shift in thinking and released forty pounds.

The shift in thinking came before the weight though, not after. I had to learn to accept my body as it was and love it cellulite and all in order to love myself down the scale.

You see it wasn’t bad enough that I had to look at my body in the mirror or feel my thighs and butts shake like little 3.2 tremors on the earthquake scale every time I took a step—I really used to worry that others would be super grossed out and not able to have a good time anywhere near me.  That is until I found out THE SECRET.

No not the secret that book and internet movie about the laws of attraction. No, the real secret that unlocks your ability to strut around a pool (cellulite tremors and all) without even a cover up is: what people think about your body is really none of your business!!!

When I struggled with my weight and body image I consistently had the FAT THINKING that people needed me to have a firm and non-cellulite infested butt and thighs in order to be deemed worthy and in order for them to have a good time around the vicinity of my butt and thighs.

Why?  Well because anything less was not acceptable.  But here’s the real question—who is it not acceptable to?  Is it not acceptable to the other people, or to me?

I was so caught up in their thought process that I gave all of my power away to them.  I spent summers covered from head to toe, never letting myself roam around freely and happily in my own skin because of my fear of what others my think of me.

The absurd irony is that I had no control over those stranger’s thoughts—AND I NEVER WOULD!  Talk about disempowered FAT THINKING in action!! Then a mentor of mine gave me some powerful coaching—some THIN THINKING– and I use it to this day.
HURRAH FOR SELF-ABSORBED PEOPLE!

Real freedom comes from the fact that most people are so absorbed in their own bodies and lives that even if they do look at me in all of my now 50-year-old-far-from-firm-glory that their thoughts will go directly back to themselves through their filter of their own body WITHOUT ANOTHER THOUGHT OF ME AND MY JIGGLEY BITS
 
In reality, at pools, and gyms, and any other places where you find your body on display you can revel in the fact that people are so self-involved their own body that any thought of you will be fleeting. Especially in LA, I can assure you, that the thought of you and your body will be even more minuscule because people here are even more narcissistic and self-involved!  Way to go LA!

See, there is a positive side to all of the self-absorbed people here—they could care less about your thighs! So rip off that towel at the pool and have some fun! Enjoy your body in this wonderful summer sun because what other people think about your butt is really none of your business—so butt out!!

TAKE OFF the Fat Thinking so you can enjoy TAKING OFF the clothes before you TAKE OFF all your weight—and TAKE ON loving your body where you are today!

Repeat 10 times each night this week before you go to sleep:

I AM MOVING IN THE DIRECTION OF LOVING MY BODY AS IT IS TODAY, TOMORROW AND ALL THE WAY DOWN THE SCALE. MY BODY DESERVES MY LOVE!

I promise you, Shift happens even at the pool.

 xo Rita